Personal Log: Ben Versteegt

I feel like kicking something. I feel like hitting, kicking, and shouting at whatever gets in my way. There is so many injustice to be revenged, and so much blame to be placed, but I can't place it. I can't point out someone evil who is the bad guy and who needs to be shot. There is no one to hate.

(Warning: Spoilers for Battle Royale ahead)

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You're probably wondering what I am talking about. Well, I just finished watching Battle Royale, a Japanese movie from the year 2000. The basic premise is this: because the kids these days are defying teachers, the state, the system and any authority, the Japanese government has decided that once in a while, an entire class of students (of about 15 years old) will be put on an island. These students are given collars, which contain tracking devices and explosives. The students are given three days to kill each other, until only one survivor remains standing. If more than one student is still standing after three days, the collars will be detonated, killing all students. If any attempt is made to remove the collars, they will explode too. The only way for the students to survive, is to kill each other.

Pretty soon, the killing begins. It is bloody, violent, gruesome, gross and vile. You cannot help but feel sorry for the killers: they are forced to do this. Friends are forced to kill friends, in order to fight for their survival. These children really have no other choice. Some fragile alliances are formed, but they are broken by either too much trust or too much mistrust between the members of the alliances. People get paranoid, and see an enemy in every living being. Essentially, that is what they all are: enemies of each other.

Friends turn on each other and alliances crumble as time passes. The very fact that everyone is a potential enemy is enough to make people throw away their morality. The thin line of civilisation crumbles away, turning friends into enemies and innocent children into cold-blooded killers. Human nature shows its true self, and it isn't all that pretty. Morality, compassion and reason melt away in the desperate fight for survival. Innocent children have to kill other innocent children, and when survival hangs in the balance, it can -- and will -- grow very violent. To these children, killing has to become a second nature. It's kill or be killed in this gruesome quest to stay alive.

But I cannot blame the children for this. They are thrown in the midst of things and are forced to kill. They didn't choose this. They, the unsuspecting victims, are forced to murder each other, or die -- you can't help but think that it isn't the children's fault. It's that evil Kitano who is to blame. Kitano had been a teacher of this class of children of a while, until he got stabbed by one of the students. Now, he seems to have come to take revenge by making the children kill each other. He even seems to derive pleasure from it. The sick, evil bastard.

But as the movie progresses, the bad guy turns out to have a personality. Kitano has problems at home, with a wife and kid who hate him and don't want to see him ever again. He appears shocked, and terribly sad about it. The look on his face is that of a man who wishes he could turn back time and to it all better again. He cannot help that he is who he is. This man cannot be a cold-blooded killer. He is who the events in his life made him to be. In fact, he even deeply cares about one of the students. He is just a man with a sad history and, as a result, a sick mind. He cannot help it. It isn't right to put the blame on him. We can't unconditionally hate him -- it is very clear that he is a person, just like all of us. A person with problems. If anything, we should feel sorry for him.

But what about the terrible injustice that has been done to these children? I can't blame the Japanese state in the movie, for the simple reason that it's so large and intangible. It's like blaming the Earth for giving rise to humanity. I can't do it. I can't hate something so intangible and elusive. I need to point the finger of blame to a single person: an embodiment of all that the Japanese government in that movie stands for. That person was Kitano... But I can't blame him anymore. How can I hate a man who has these deep and sad problems?

But then, who can I hate, if not him? Who is responsible for this injustice? Who can I vent my anger on? In many movies, there is a bad guy who does horrible things to the heroes. We can all safely hate that bad guy, for making it so hard for the heroes. Great villains are hated a lot -- that's part of what makes them great villains. When the villain is finally slain or blown up by the hero in a grand fashion, we all practically stand up and cheer at the hero for killing that villain. "Die, you bastard!" we shout, venting all our anger at the villain who so rightly came to his end.

But here... Damnit, there's no one to hate! By the time the 'villain', Kitano, died, I felt sorry for him. What a great character he was! Twisted, sick, psychotic even maybe, yes, but he didn't deserve to die. He never had any intention to shoot the heroes... The gun he pointed at them turned out to be a water gun, for heaven's sake! How can I hate him for that? I can't! I can't even hate the one who killed him, because he's the main character. He's a good kid, determined to protect his girlfriend.

There were a few other characters in the movie that seemed hate-worthy at first, though. Among them was Mitsuko, a seemingly sadistic girl who killed many other children and didn't shed a tear about it. After another kill, we see a flashback to her childhood, when she was nearly coerced into undressing before an elderly paedophile. The little Mitsuko pushed that guy off the stairs, killing him. From that time forward, it was clear to her that she had to take care of herself. Life was hard, but that was just the way it was. She had learned that lesson long ago.

Argh! I can't hate Mitsuko. In fact, I came close to cheering for her when she pushed that dirty old man off the stairs (that man, by the way, was one of the few characters in the movie whom I could really hate). It became clear that her childhood had made her grow up the way she had. After seeing that scene, I gained much, much more respect for Mitsuko. I couldn't hate her. She is only doing what she has taught herself to do: stand up for herself. Her methods may be wrong, but I can't blame her for that. It's the circumstances in her life that made her who she was.

But just after that flashback, just when Mitsuko wasn't a real bad person anymore in my mind, a guy comes in and kills her. He kills her! The injustice of it all! Just when I gain a lot of respect for Mitsuko, she gets killed. It's not fair, I tell you. Not only can I not hate her, but she gets murdered as well! It is virtually no comfort at all to know that I can really hate the guy who killed her.

The music during that scene and the following scenes is beautiful ("Air", I think the piece was called), and I could barely hold back my tears. I don't know why that particular scene affects me so much, but I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact that during that time in the movie, I've practically run out of characters to put the blame on. Even when the guy who shot Mitsuko dies later on, it doesn't feel rewarding or good at all, even though, arguably, he did deserve to die.

At the end of the movie, the two main characters have survived -- the rest is dead. Finally, a reasonably happy end, at least for the two survivors. But it is far from happy. Because they have defied the system, they are now wanted for murder. Again, I feel angry at this clear injustice. But I have no one to blame, no one to hate. It seems I need a bad-guy in a movie, so I can hate him and feel relieved when he is dead. I had thought I was beyond such black-and-white thinking, but apparently I am not. Without any tangible person to hate, I feel stuck with these feelings of injustice, hate, anger and sadness. How can they do this to these children? And how can I even ask that question if I don't even know who "they" are!

In a conflict, it's usually "us" versus "them". In the movie, the viewer identifies him- or herself with the children, who are forced to commit atrocities. That is the "us" side. But there is no "them"! There is no tangible something that I can shout at or which the "us" side can kick the crap out of. So I am stuck with all these feelings that have surfaced during the movie, but I can't vent those feelings at someone, because there is no real bad guy. That, I think, is what frustrates me most. And that is also why I think that this movie is one of the greatest movies I have ever seen. It has deeply affected me, and it has made me think in a way that no (or few) other movies have done so far.

But I am not finished yet. Besides making me want to hate something I can't hate, this movie also makes me think about human nature. Is our morality really this layer of civilisation that crumbles away whenever our survival is at stake? The scary thing is that I think that the movie is right about this. As long as we're living together and there is no imminent threat to our safety or even our possessions, we won't harm each other. This is the situation that is usually achieved in a state. But when we have to kill to stay alive, our enlightened norms and values disappear instantly. Human nature does seem to be all about self-preservation, and if that means killing others to stay alive, then that is what will be done.

That's a scary thought, and one which the creators of this movie have succeeded to put into my brain. I am reminded of various (political) philosophers; some say that man is bad by nature (Hobbes), while others believe that man will by nature peacefully co-exist with one another (Rousseau). After seeing this movie, I am inclined to agree with those who say that man is, by nature, bad, and that it is our morality that makes us good citizens. Of course, it might also be true that are good by nature, and that the situation in Battle Royale would drive every sane human being to fight for his life, good or not. I don't know.

Regarding this subject, I found one scene particularly noteworthy: a group of girls had formed an alliance, and one of them had just rescued the main character. One of the girls, though, didn't trust the newcomer (since he had accidentally killed that girl's boyfriend), and she proceeded to poison his food. Of course the food was accidentally eaten by another girl, who fell down, dead. This made the rest of the girls suspicious towards each other, and accusations were thrown around, until the argument finally ended in a bloodbath. With her dying breath, one of the girls managed to say that they were all so incredibly stupid. She seemed to see that her death was a senseless one. Their mutual distrust lead to their deaths, which could have been prevented by simply talking to each other like reasonable human beings. Human nature, however, seems to have taken over from reason in these girls. They were all so terribly concerned with their own survival, that they became paranoid and started accusing each other. The alliance no longer seemed a safe environment, and everybody panicked. It ended in disaster. The human nature, their search for self-preservation, has lead to their deaths.

It seems that the human nature consists of the preservation of the self, and that means that people will kill each other if that means feeling safe again. This is usually considered bad by current moral standards -- but what are those moral standards worth anymore, when it is clear that they crumble so easily? Where is our enlightened morality, when we are in a kill-or-be-killed situation?

So who do I blame now? Whose fault is it that normally cheerful, innocent people resort to killing in such a situation? Who can I hate? Human nature? I can't hate human nature for simply existing. I can't hate humans either for having such nature -- we can't seem to change it, so how would I be justified to hate it or humans themselves? Who then? The producers of the movie? The writer of the book on which the movie was based? Merijn, who suggested the movie to me? If anything, I should thank them for making me think about all of this. Should I, then, hate myself for thinking about things that I obviously cannot change or have no control about? No, certainly not. That makes no sense. If I can't even think about things I cannot change, then why think at all? Thinking about it makes me able to deal with it. Who, then, should I put the blame on for what happened to those children? Who is responsible for all the injustice in the movie? God? No, I can't go around hating God. How can I hate an entity which may not even exist (no offence to God, if he exists, or to those who believe in him)? It would be like hating the guy who predicts the weather for the fact that it is raining. It makes no sense at all. Besides, it's far too easy to hate God for anything. I won't fall into that trap.

But then, who do I put the blame on? Who is responsible for this terrible injustice? In truth, many people may be responsible, but there are none I can really, passionately, unconditionally, hate. There are no living stereotypes. There is no single person who is the villain; everyone has a valid excuse of some sort to act as he or she does. Of course, that doesn't make it right, but it does mean that I can't hate those people like I can hate the villain in a James Bond movie. The world isn't as black and white as it is sometimes portrayed in movies. And the world isn't black and white in Battle Royale either. We like to think in stereotypes, and often search for a scapegoat; someone to blame. I found no such someone in Battle Royale.

I think I'll just pound on my pillow tonight until it screams for mercy. Perhaps I will be able to fool myself into thinking that my pillow is the sole thing responsible for all the injustice I saw in the movie. Or, which is more likely, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll be able to sleep tonight, and maybe I will stay awake, thinking about injustice and human nature, and about who to hate or put the blame on. In any case, I will never be able to let Battle Royale go. It is a movie that will stay with me for the rest of my life, and likewise, the thoughts about the movie will continue to haunt and inspire me. I am both angry and grateful about that.

Angry, because I will never be able to let the movie go, and grateful, because I will never be able to let the movie go.

Categories: Ben's Logs