Personal Log: Ben Versteegt

...Okay, it's a bit late (or a bit premature, depending how you look at it), since we're on the second day of October already. But I would still like to say something about what it means to enter a new month. Sure, it's just another day, but have you ever really stopped and thought about what is involved in the going of one month to another? I have, and it strikes me as odd that the transition from one month to another can mean so much.

Either you're wondering now if I've lost my mind, or you are finding this interesting (or you pick another option). Either way, you are still reading. Good. That pleases my ego.

I have these moments of thought sometimes; a thought enters my mind and my mind expands on it, discovering how amazing it can be sometimes to consider closely those things we take for granted. One of these moments of thought was about the changing from one month to another. This is about as ordinary and common as things can get... Still, it is food for thought.

When September ended and October began, thirty days had come to an end. Reflecting on those thirty days, you'll find that a lot has happened. In that case, there were numerous occasions that you'll look back on after a few years. There were smiles, maybe tears, laughs, sadness, jokes and anger. A lot can happen in thirty days. The ending of a month is something like a closing of a period in your life.

It is also possible that you haven't done anything (or nothing out of the ordinary) in the past month. In that case, you may be wondering how on earth you have managed to survive the month without boring yourself to death. Or you may ask yourself why you have squandered precious time.

"What have I done this past month?" That is a question that tends to pop up when a month reaches its conclusion and a new one begins. Often you don't remember it -- you've simply lived through the month, like you live through every day. Time suddenly seems the strangest thing -- the month has gone by in a flash, it seems, yet you know that it really took thirty long days for it to come to an end.

"What have I done this past month?" For me, the answer to that question is: Mostly simply chatting, writing posts, going to university, sleeping (it's amazing how much time a person spends sleeping), reading texts, thinking, talking to friends, read books... Things like that. I talked, I read, I wrote, I laughed, I slept, I was online, I was offline, I played games, I listened to music, I ate, I gave my cat dinner, I watched movies, I thought, I blinked, I sat in the train, I took deep breaths, I looked, I saw, I heard, I listened. I did all of that and much more. But all these actions are just as easily forgotten as they are done. Nobody will remember exactly what he/she did and where and when. Isn't this odd? I didn't do anything truly significant last month. If September was simply deleted out of my life, life would just go on. I would be annoyed and greatly confused, but I could go on living as if nothing had happened. Does this mean that I can equate everything I did last month with nothing? Nothing? Then why, the name of everything that has any meaning, why did I live that month? What was the purpose of that month? Why was that month there for me?

And now September has ended, and everything that has happened in that month now definitely belongs in the past. October has shown itself; a new month has dawned. A month in which I will post again, go to university again, read again, write again, sit again, eat again, sneeze again, smile again and think again. Life goes on.

A new month has its bright sides; There is the feeling of a fresh start, anticipation, maybe, to an event that will happen in this month, the challenge of trying to be the number one poster for this month. But there are also downsides. For example, yesterday, October 1, the Valkyrie was ahead of the Odyssey in posts. We have caught up with them now (we both have six posts now), but the fact remains that there was a point in this month in which the Valkyrie had more posts than the Odyssey. Downsides to the beginning of a month are also the feeling of not wanting to go to a meeting that's scheduled for this month or looking back at last month and urging yourself to do better this month.

In conclusion, the changing from one month to the next is nothing you'd normally think about. But when you do, you see that there are psychological and philosophical issues hidden in the changing of months. Issues that bring up interesting questions... And I haven't even begun to delve into the related (and very interesting) issues about time. Some might say of course that these questions are hardly worth asking: why bother yourself needlessly with unnecessarily hard questions? Simply take life as it is! Well, I don't see it that way. Neither would I want to; I may think too much, but this thinking brings up interesting topics behing things that we usually take for granted. Think about it, and then decide whether you think it's silly or not.

Finally, one last comment: with the changing of the month comes the turning of the page of a monthly calendar. In my home, we have a few calendars with beautiful pictures of mountains, koalas and other scenery and animals. The fact that the calendar keeps displaying the same picture for the whole month, gives me the time to watch this monthly occurence (every time I go to the bathroom). On one of these calendars, there is a pack (is that the right word?) of elephants in green surroundings in Tanzania (it says so in the text underneath the picture). It is a beatiful picture, and wonderful to look at of course, but the fact that it will be there for a month can be disturbing as well: I just know I won't be able to get a single question out of my head this month: Is Tanzania pronouned as Tanzania (stress on the second a) or Tanzania (stress on the i)?

Categories: Ben's Logs