Personal Log: Ben Versteegt

Again I did pretty much nothing today. Maybe it's not such a good idea to keep a blog after all... I get confronted with the fact that I'm not doing anything all day long. Sure, I did write a bit, but not much, and I didn't even post either. I was planning on writing a post today and reading a text for language philosophy, but I just didn't get to it.

I did spend quite some time reading some chapters of New Frontier, book 5. Argh. Just what I need, another book to be addicted too. These addictions take time! Oh well, I'm enjoying the book a lot, so I can't complain. Also, if I keep reading like this, I'm going to finish the book well before... something that is also time-consuming.

I can't go into much detail, since it's not official yet and there are quite some things that still need to be worked out, but I can say that it will be the end of something and the beginning of something else, in a way. Don't read too much into this -- I'm not going to blow up the world for the good of mankind, I'm not going to quit Frontier Fleet and I don't have a girlfriend (sadly). ;-) It's just that this thing has been on my mind a lot lately and recent developments have brought extra complicating issues to this matter. Those recent developments are not making it easy, anyway.

Ah well... in other news: Woohoo! I've been promoted! Or actually, Velden has been promoted. Yay! Woo! And more of those happy exclamations.

Bah, I don't really have a lot to say anymore. My life is simply not interesting enough. *Cries* Okay, enough of my daily self pity. Time to write some posts! Oh, and time to end this silly log as well. :-P

Regs,
Ben.

Why did she do it? Why? I know it's silly and probably even crazy that I'm not over it, but in the spirits' sakes, why? She told me that she didn't know if she was ready for a relationship... Well, I've seen how ready she was. Only a few hours after turning me down, she started a relationship with that... that... Vok!

I suppose I need to calm down. But I don't want to calm down, dammit! Sorry, I shouldn't let myself go like that. It really pains me, though, to see Jessica and Vok together, when she could have been with me. I... I don't know, I just feel... jealous, I guess. Angry, mostly. After our breakfast together, when she rejected me, I knew I had made a mistake, and I keep going over everything I've said to her. I have come to the conclusion that if I simply said different things, Jessica Truesdale would now be with me instead of with Vok. If only I behaved differently, said other things...

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