Personal Log: OPS Lt. Cmdr. Solan Arquette

Personal Log, Stardate six-nine-five-one-six point five.

With the small crew compliment aboard the Solstice currently, finding a day of leave was difficult but not impossible, and I'm glad for it. After the past two days – particularly yesterday – I think it's important that I take a break, if only temporarily.

Ensign Gatto and myself were under the influence of an alien entity for near twenty-four hours – perhaps more, we cannot be certain. Although I have requested, and been granted, forgiveness for my words and actions while under the mental influence of the entity, I do not believe that I feel any more comfortable in the presence of Commander Jalando than I have in the past. Even moreso, now, because of what has been said – because of my own words. To be short, I accused Commander Jalando of being under the control of an alien entity and attempting to harm Starfleet personnel and property, as well as citizens and non-citizens of the Federation aboard Delta One. As it turns out, he was right in accusing us, in accusing me, of being under the influence of another.

That in itself is difficult for me to accept. I have always prided myself on my mental fortitude which, while not on par with Cadenza's, is certainly nothing to scoff at. It has, in my opinion, been largely responsible for my rapid rise through the ranks of Starfleet. Now, however, I am forced to question my own strength. Will I have residual effects from this unwilling interference (ironically, one of the things I accused Jalando of suffering), or have I totally escaped the mental control of this... parasite? Symbiont? Of this alien entity?

Cadenza assures me that I remain strong, though I don't feel such surety.

As is not bad, however. Cadenza and I have decided, I suspect even without the influence of the alien entity, to become 'mates,' as she calls us. I'm not entirely certain what this entails. The word 'mate' implies, to me at least, more than simply 'dating,' which I did at the Academy. I am, of course, committed to our relationship. I find myself entranced by her – her beauty, of course, but mostly by her native intelligence and the emotions that lie hidden beneath the surface. Those things she shows me in moments between us. Or do I imagine those things?

I don't think so.

Mates.

I'm glad we visited Delta One, all things considered. It has made me aware of a weakness in myself that I had never even considered. Hopefully I can overcome it. Hopefully. I look forward to seeing Cadenza tonight at dinner.

End log.