And yes my dear readers, once again we have the rumours coming from Frontier Fleet! And quite some rumours we have for you! Are they true? Partially true? Or is there no truth to these rumours? You be the judge of that!
USS Calhoun.
You know that new Crewman? Well, of course you don't! You cannot be expected to keep up with every new Crewman who arrives! Sure, new Ensigns, yeah, those are important -sort of- but crewmen. . . nah, there are so many of them anyway. Well then, you might ask, why are we paying attention to that new crewman here? Well, the answer is simple. It's his bad luck! Yes, that's right, Crewman Skeldon seems to have a monopoly on bad luck! And trust me, that's not a monopoly you want to have. Not even if you're Ferengi! Skeldon's bad luck included, up until now, falling down on a holodeck in less than fresh-smelling material, being accused of theft (that might warrant a further investigation of this reporter...) and spilling a couple of drinks. And then to think that this man has not even boarded the Calhoun yet!
But on the Calhoun, there are things amiss even without Skeldon's help. Apparently they've all changed bodies, and the body of the Second Officer is now inhabited by Lieutenant DeTroyes, whom we all know is guilty of attempting to commit genocide. Rumour has it that she planned this whole thing to take over the ship. Think about it: With the Captain's body inhabited by an oversexed teenage boy, and the First Officer's body inhabited by a nervous Cairn, DeTroyes might actually succeed in her diabolical plan!
But this whole changing of bodies has also caused some hilarious situations. For example. Engineering Officer O'Neill is now caught in the body of a Vivillian. And the long tongue which Vivillians use to eat insects is now his as well. So instead of just using his hands to tap in commands on his console, he'll just use his tongue. Pretty neat trick, although it has to be noted that his crewmates might not like it: the consoles are now filled with saliva!
USS Odyssey:
Ah, the Odyssey. Now there's another story. Did you know that Captain Bennek has transported down with an Away Team, and have resorted to breaking in to the Andorian government building? It's true! They're investigating some sort of death or so, and they need access to a computer which is in that government building. But if you ask me, the Captain enjoys being a burglar just a bit too much. One cannot help but wonder if he has any experience. . .
And then there is of course the issue between Lieutenant Nerell and Ensign Jyll. Apparently, Nerell had spread a rumour about Jyll, which said that the Ensign had been sleeping with the entire command team! (now why wasn't that in our previous issue?) Apparently though, Ensign Jyll did not like this rumour, and threatened the Lieutenant. So maybe Lieutenant Nerell will soon be Ensign Nerell. Still, rumours usually have a bit of truth stuck into them, don't they?
Oh, and then there's this Ferengi: Torp. He got on board the Odyssey without the Odyssey's internal sensors finding out! That's just impossible. . . isn't it? Well, of course it is! But Torp did get on board, undetected. Which allows us to believe that he had someone watching out for him. Someone in the Security department, maybe. Somehow who didn't want to be on board when Torp was discovered. Someone in a high ranking place. Someone like. . . that's right, Starfleet's only Lionanition. I wonder what the Ferengi offered Nerfertii in return for letting him sneak on board. Maybe a ball of wool? Or maybe some milk!
USS Valkyrie:
Ah, le ship des misfits. So many rumours are told about this ship. It is impossible to include all those rumours in this newspaper, but we've tried to bring out the best ones. Like this one for example. And it isn't even a rumour! Lieutenants Schofield and PaRel have been fired from Starfleet! They're plain old civilians now. Man, who'd have expected that? How did such officers get to work in Starfleet anyway? Maybe someone back at the Academy made a mistake in letting them pass? Or even better: they bribed the Academy Commandant! Hmmm, there might be a story in there.
One thing needs to be said about the Valkyrie: most crewmembers on board were loyal to both departing officers. A period of mourning followed the trial. Well, either it was because of that, or because the Valkyrie got a new Commanding Officer, we're not so sure about what the reason was. Anyway, with everyone so down, one would think that the crew would do anything to cheer up again. Including some pretty illegal things! Did you know that Ensign Masters and Ensign Leeson have travelled back in time to fight in Earth's Second World War? That's what the rumours says, anyway. And why would they do such a thing, anyway? That goes to show that Starfleet people aren't as peaceful as you might think. . .
Oh, and how's this for a juicy rumour? Commander Byrne -the First Officer-'s wife (or ex-wife?) arrived on the Valkyrie, together with her -and Byrne's!- children. Apparently she came there to be a teacher. Don't worry readers, we'll continue to follow the events as they progress. . . since the confrontation between Byrne and his (ex-)wife should be quite. . . entertaining!
USS Atlantis:
Things are pretty rough there in the Gamma Quadrant! While protecting the convoy, the Atlantis herself was under attack by pirates, and was thus unable to do anything while the convoy suffered from another pirate attack. Oh boy, that's quite some trouble for the Atlantis senior crew, who are on the convoy ships as well. Lieutenant Montgomery has fainted, and from what we believe he's seen a glimpse of the afterlife. It would be very interesting if the man would tell us what he had seen! If he comes out of there alive, that is.
Lieutenant Rofellian, who was piloting the Borhyas -the Gamma Flyer of the Atlantis- seemed to have been getting bored with just defending the other ships from pirate attacks. So he beamed to the T'rinna, Commander Velden's love. Uh, ship. There he stood ready to help the Commander to defeat the pirates which boarded the ship. But did he beam over to help, or did Rofellian just want to be the hero? After all, rumour has it that Rofellian -a Romulan- had been a Captain in an alternate universe. Maybe he wants to secure a promotion? Or maybe he wants to force Velden to giving him a promotion? "If you don't promote you, I won't help you fight these pirates." Sounds interesting. We'll have to see how this turns out. . .
Another interesting rumour: Doctor Morgan has lost command of her convoy ship. The crew started to form a mutiny. Details are still unknown, but a crew doesn't just commit mutiny. So reasons are up to speculation. And we LOVE speculation. We believe that the CMO of the Atlantis couldn't handle the pressure and freaked out. Rumour also has it that she cut off her own finger in response to the question "could you lend a hand?" The CMO was then reported to have answered "No, but you can have my finger."
Pandora Station:
Fleet HQ. A lot is happening there as well. For instance, the arrival of the new CMO: Lieutenant Dan Marck. We immediately recognised the name: The Atlantis once had him as CMO, and the crew knew that all too well. Poor Pandora crew. Captain Denorian quickly found out first-hand about the CMO's behaviour, for the Captain was asked to report in to the CMO, instead of the other way around. Apparently the Captain had explained that this was not how it should be, after which he left Sickbay. Marck though, did not seem to have learned anything from the Captain's speech, since he quickly continued ordering the nearest nurse to get him a sandwich.
By the way, did you know that Gorn were concerned with how they looked? It's true! Rumour tells us that Lieutenant Ta'agk, currently assigned to Pandora Station, has voiced concerns about whether or not some clothing suited him. I thought I've seen it all, but a Gorn who is into fashion...
And we conclude this article with the rumour of the relationship between Ambassador Kregel and Ambassador Tyks. According to the rumour, both of them went for a swim. The rumour doesn't indicate if they were skinny dipping though, but I wouldn't put it past them. Apparently the two of them are very close to forming some sort of a. . . diplomatic agreement, if you get my drift.
Well then. We hope you've enjoyed reading these rumours. If you have heard more rumour, please, don't hesitate to send them to us! See you next month!
